I meant to design a monthly calendar last year, but I had too high of an expectation for myself, ran out of time, so it didn’t happen 😑 sad.
However, I’m happy to tell you that it’s coming back for 2020!
My 2020 calendar will be all about self-care, self-acceptance, and confidence.
It’s a strange timing though that I’m working on this calendar now because things have been a bit chaotic in my life lately.
Don’t worry, no divorce or illness, thank goodness 😬 But, I’ve got a new studio space that I’m setting up (unexpected but exciting. more on that later), and a couple of other non-biz-related things have kept me feeling a bit ungrounded and scattered.
(As I write this email, I realized the core issue is my routine has been disturbed by these unexpected events. As much as I’d like to go with the flow and be spontaneous, I need routine for my well-being. Check.)
Needless to say, it’s taken longer to finish the calendar…😀 but I still aim to get them out to you sometime in October ✨
Here is the sneak preview!
So pretty, no?? 😻
I don’t know if you knew this, but I craft these encouraging messages for myself, first and foremost.
And they resonate with me so much more when I’m in a more uncertain space.
As I put together these designs, I remind myself to breathe, acknowledge that I’m in that space, and be present as much as possible.
Nothing lasts forever, and I’ve come out ok through 100% of the past difficult situations (and don’t remember most of them 🤷🏻♀️), so this, I shall survive also.
I’m trying to be gentle with myself and give myself permission to be “meh” in a meantime.
If you’re also feeling “meh,” it’s OK. Take care of yourself, my friend ❤️
At the time this post goes out, I’ll just have gotten back from my trip to Yellowstone National Park with my mom 👯♀️
(I’m on sabbatical next week, but I’ll probably share some pics with you 😉)
Rather than skipping my post for a week, I wanted to send you a quick reminder…
Yes, that’s right. Say YES to yourself!
Give yourself what you need to feel good and whole. It’s not selfish. Your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being is very important. As important as your family and friends’, if not more.
And according to my therapist, whom I trust very much, needs are not negotiable.
So here you go, my friend. You have my unconditional permission to say yes to yourself. Today and always.
I’d worked for another local DV org for 14 and a half years before making a transition to working in Honeyberry Studios full-time and have always been a big fan of the Network.
So I was honored and surprised when I got an email from my friend, Eli, who is the Board President at the organization a few weeks ago.
In his email, he said he thought I’d be a great candidate for the position and asked if I’d be interested in joining the team.
I was very excited for the prospect of joining the Board but hesitated to say yes at first because I didn’t feel qualified.
When I pictured “Board of Directors,” I imagined a group of people who are white, older (than me), upper-middle class, and have a corporate job or a “real” business.
(You know, not a “handmade” kind of business…)
I didn’t fit the profile at all 🤷🏻♀️
Big imposter syndrome kicked in, and I was swallowed in a whirlpool of “what ifs” and worst-case scenarios.
What if I suck at the job? What if I couldn’t deliver what they expected from me? What if I make a bad decision or give terrible advice? What if it’s more time-consuming and stressful than I think?
I was afraid they’d find me out.
They’d be disappointed and it’d be super awkward. And then they’d wish they’d never asked me to join the team, and now they have to have a meeting to make a plan to gently exit me from the Board and never speak about it ever again.
I know, my imagination runs WILDsometimes – it’s good for my creative work, but not so good for other situations 😛😭
Eli and I had a few back-and-forth about the logistics and my concerns – he patiently reassured me that I had a combination of qualities they were looking for.
While I still felt an imposter-syndrome hangover, I wrote this letter of intent.
That’s when I knew I really, really wanted to do this.
So I was very happy when I got a call from Eli several days later telling me that I was officially IN! 🥳
Interesting, though, that my imposter syndrome got even worse when I shared the news on social media.
A lot of people sent me kind, encouraging messages and congratulated me. It was wonderful and overwhelming at the same time.
Overwhelming because a lof of the comments were about me as a person, like “you’re great” or “you’re wonderful” and I didn’t feel I deserved it.
I was telling Dave how these comments were making me uneasy because I hadn’t actually done anything yet.
A little voice inside me was saying, “Yuko, anyone can join the Board. But what are you going to accomplish? You’ve been away from the work for so long. Do you remember half of the things you said on your resume?”
Yeah, right. People should really hold off on congratulating me until I do something awesome.
Maybe I shoud’ve kept it a secret.
And then Dave said, “You know you’re gonna do great work, right?”
Sometimes when my brain tells me I can’t do something, I listen to the people I trust, who say “yes you can.”
If I trust their judgement, and they say they believe in me, then I should believe in myself, too, you know?
It’s so meta, but I think you get it.
And that’s how I’ve gotten over the most recent bout of self-doubt.
Being uncomfortable with something new and unknown is healthy.
I know I’ll continue to have moments of insecurities throughout my life – after all, I’m a human being with lots of feelings (LOTS) – but I’ll also continue to learn and practice skills and tools to manage them more effectively so I can get back to being my whole self more quickly.
Why am I telling you all this?
Well, because I wanted you to know it’s OK if you feel this way too.
You’re not a robot🤖
Sometimes we stumble and get stuck. There is no shame in that, my friend.